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Rise of Nations – New list of national powers

Disclaimer: what follows, of course, is a joke, and not meant to be taken seriously! If you are easily offended, or looking for reasons to be offended, then pa-lease do not read it.
  • The British have the power of Dry wit – Confuse your enemy with subtle humor, receive Jeremy Clarkson hero unit with ‘Racial slur’ power.
  • The French have the power of Surrender – Lose automatically whenever attacked by a german player.
  • The Romans have the power of Decadence – Armies, citizens, and generals lose effectiveness over time.
  • The Chinese have the power of Spicy Noodles – Get free egroll with every meal.
  • The Indians have the power of Outsourcing – Disrupt the economies of other nations.
  • The Iroquis have the power of Ohtoobad – Lose automatically when attacked by an American player.
  • The Greeks have the power of Child Rape – Scholars infect population with Aids.
  • The Persians have the power of Bling – Lose gold on cheap jewlery and expensive cars.
  • The Germans have the power of KILLALLTHEJEWS – Must declare war on Jewish players, cannot maintain alliances, tanks tend to break down, receive ‘The madman’ as national leader.
  • The Dutch have the power of Marijuana – Soldiers shoot randomly into the air, wander around aimlessly, or fall asleep.
  • The Bantu have the power of The black man – Soldiers attack villagers. Cannot research ages.
  • The Egyptians have the power of the Big Dog-headed statue – Receive free stargate at information age.
  • The Japanese have the power of Tentacle rape – Female villagers disappear mysteriously.
  • The Americans have the power of Assholeness – Diplomacy with all other nations invariably goes sour.
  • The Aztecs have the power of the Sun God – Receive tanning lotion research for free.
  • The Maya have the power of Ascendance – Automatically disappear from the game at gunpowder age.
  • The Inca have the power of Human sacrifice – lose a family member for +500 resources.
  • The Spanish have the power of salsa – Scouts and spies dance to spicy music, instead of doing their jobs.
  • The Turks have the power of Mustaches – Look more impressive on 19th century photos.
  • The Jews have the power of self-doubt – Must sign peace agreement with enemies, Cannot hold onto conquered cities.
  • The Koreans have the power of Starcraft – Recruit zerglings from barracks, kekekekeke your enemies.
  • The Lakota have the power of Peace pipes – Get better prices on drug trade in marketplace.
  • The Arabs have the power of Oil – Receive free money from more advanced societies, control Islam or it will control you.
  • The Mongols have the power of Ogly – Scare enemies with your people’s horribly mutated faces.
  • The Nubians have the power of the N00b – Get pwned in first online game without playing the tutorial, then receive free ‘bitch in forums’ research.
  • The Russians have the power of Stalin – Generals, scholars, and basically everybody disappears at random intervals, including you – the player!
Categories: General
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