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Archive for the ‘Satire’ Category

Draw Mohammed 2015

Or in my case, Photoshop him.

Probably nobody does this anymore, but I’m a sucker for tradition.

Mohammed 2015

Categories: Pictures, Satire

Villains of Their Own Kind – limited free promotion at the Kindle Store

“When heroes become impotent, what you need… is a villain.”

Villains' Cover ArtVillains of Their Own Kind is a full novel, written by me over the course of several years, which follows the exploits of a group of self-proclaimed Supervillains, as they travel around the fictional world of the near future (2024, to be exact).

Is is an adventure story, rife with action sequences befitting the big-screen, and also a parody-satire of pop culture, the world we live in, and the Superhero/action/fantasy/sci-fi genres. It is also a story about love, friendship, and freedom in a world that increasingly tells you what to think.

To accept it, is to defy convention.

Since the entire story is something of a juggernaut, and my available time is extremely limited, I’ve cut it down to 4 parts, the first of which is available on  Amazon’s Kindle Store. Until this Sunday, it can be downloaded for free!
Despite the name, you do not need a Kindle device, in order to access and read the story. There is even an option to view it straight on your browser.

For all who might be interested, here are some additional links:

Categories: General, Satire, Stories

The iMcrazy (TM)

thumb

At some point during work, I had this idea for a mobile application that allows you to have yourself committed.
“It will be called the iMcrazy.”

Today, I have constructed a demo for it.

Check it out!

Update: iMcrazy is now compatible with mobile devices. Just visit the page with your mobile browser 🙂

Categories: General, Satire

Cheshire Joe Biden

Cheshire Biden

Categories: Satire

Villains of Their Own Kind – Now Free at Amazon.com

“When heroes become impotent, what you need… is a villain.”

Villains' Cover ArtVillains of Their Own Kind is a full novel, written by me over the course of over three and a half years, which follows the exploits of a group of self-proclaimed Supervillains, as they travel around the fictional world of the near future (2024, to be exact).

Is is an adventure story, rife with action sequences befitting the big-screen, or a video game. It is also a parody-satire of pop culture, the world we live in, human behavior, and the Superhero/action-hero genre. It is also a story about love, loyalty, and freedom in a world that increasingly tells you what to think, and how to think it.

To accept it, is to defy convention.

Since the entire story is something of a juggernaut, and my available time is extremely limited, I’ve cut it down to 4 parts, the first of which is available through Amazon.com. For this weekend only, it is available for free!
You can get it on any Kindle device, an iPad or iPhone, or a PC – there’s even an option to read it straight on your browser through ‘Kindle Cloud’.

If I got you interested, here are the links that will help you get started:

I’ve also taken the time to create a one-minute trailer, which I originally recorded in 2009. Hopefully, you can see past the limited production values – this is essentially a one-man operation 🙂

Categories: General, Satire

Next presidential debate to be held in a steel cage

cage match

An Illustration of the upcoming debate.

October 20th, 2012, ESN

Due to the great success of the Town-Hall style presidential debate, the next debate will be done in a truly democratic, intellectual, issue-centric steel cage match.

Barack Obama and Governor Romney will be lowered into the unsafe, Chinese-made construct through cranes, and proceed to slug it out for 90 minutes, until one of them will be declared a victor, in a fair, unbiased fight.

All questions will all be written for by a bunch of illiterate, entitlement-fed people, and will include such brain stimulating, policy related riddles as, “my cute puppy is sick, how’z are you gonna fix dat?”, and “I don’t feel that you like me, but the other guy obviously does. Why do you hate me?!”
Responses will have to follow Oprah Format, which means points shall be awarded based on how many people in the crowd are caught on camera shedding a private tear, on national television.

To make sure the rules are respected, a non-partisan person, who worked as a Democrat paid community organizer for the past 4 years, and declared she wants nothing more in life than to, “strangle those racist white Republican pigs”, will be given a cattle prod to use on Governor Romney whomever she may choose.

Moderating the debate is Facebook’s very own Modbot 2.0, which is known for its equal treatment of reports on the famous social site: ignoring those that warn about islamic supremacists, and banning those who stand up to them.

The future president magnificent eye-candy super-golfer empty chair defending champion, Barack Obama, expressed his content with this arrangement, and said he is quite sure he could, “whoop Romney’s ass”, without even resorting to the spiked mace Joe “Malarkey” Biden will sneak him at 57:43, while the moderators look the other way, and pretend to be focusing at Ann Romney, as she tries to attract their attention to the deeds of the eloquent Vice President.

Ultra-awesome, maverick  past moderator, Lardny Crowhat, said she is confident that following this equal-opportunity match, the idiot unwashed masses, that need to be taught by their pseudo-journalistic superiors, will finally understand the meaning of free elections, and vote for the same guy she does.

Categories: ESN, Satire

Image of dead bearded frog causes global islamic outrage

28/09/2012 1 comment
The horrible evil frog image

This is the image of the bearded frog that started the peaceful protests, which have caused over 1,500 deaths.

September 28, 2012. ESN.

Earlier today, a mob of peaceful protesters, numbering 100,000 bearded Asians of unknown origin, has descended upon the American embassy in London, and proceeded to peacefully destroy the place, burn it to the ground, and murder all staff members inside, shouting anti-globalist slogans like “Allahu Ackbar”, supposedly in protest of American involvement in suppressing legitimate national aspirations, such as the illegal conquest of Spain from the ancestors of the above Asian youths, of unknown origin, who have no affiliation with any religion whatsoever – particularly not with the religion of peace, which cannot be named.

The protesters, who reportedly have brought heavy machine guns, rocket launchers, and several light tanks to their peaceful gathering, have debated the American staff members to a bloody pulp, and then paraded their remains in the street, taking pictures on western made iPhones, while chanting calls of no particular political affiliation, such as “Obama Obama, we are all Osama.”

The reason for this recreational activity is without a doubt an image posted to a discussion board called “NoBdy Reedz Dis”, which shows a poorly edited body of a dead frog, with a beard on it. The frog, according to a religious cleric that doesn’t belong to any specific religion (and even less to the religion of peace, that we are not allowed to name), is an insulting mockery of his prophet, _____________, and as such it is the most horrible crime against humanity that was ever committed. The discussion board, which at this time has 3 members – including one house cat – is hosted by a Bulgarian company, which obviously makes it a cover for Zionist American conspiracy against the good, non-violent, unknown people that this secular religious cleric represents.

The European-American House responded with a firm, decisive press release, saying that president Obama – the single, most awesomest person on the planet, who has invented, among other things, the light-bulb, and aqueducts – appreciates the enthusiasm displayed by such fine young men, which unfortunately cannot vote for him yet, because they haven’t immigrated to the US illegally.

The state department has issued four apologies, and translated them to eighteen languages, asking forgiveness for the audacity of the imperialistic, evil Americans to allow the posting of a silly image in an unknown website, hosted by a company from another country. The apologies, which included an image of a blond, white man, being cut to shreds by two scimitars, were met with a resounding success, causing more than forty additional peaceful protests in the Middle East, North Africa, and parts of Asia, and over fifteen hundred deaths.

Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, said she is most pleased with America’s foreign policy, and declared it will now invest 4$ million in ads that beg for mercy from the nice, friendly followers of the one true religion, which we are too scared to even think of. In the name of coexistence, thirty American soldiers will also be executed daily, until the US would have nothing to rely on for defense, except the goodwill of its enemies, and one magical unicorn, which she promised president Obama is summoning this very moment through a dimensional gate.

As for the offensive, immoral, evil website, its servers were nuked, along with the rest of Bulgaria; and the two kids who created it will be castrated, before being sent to a reeducation happy center in Alaska. To send a message to all hate-speech spouting right-wing fascists, their cat will be crucified, burnt at the stake, and its remains shot to the sun.

The editors of all the newspapers that really count have agreed that this is a great victory for Democracy, human rights, free speech, and all those other great ideals, which they do absolutely nothing to defend in the face of tyranny.

Categories: ESN, Satire