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Peace loving Jew can’t get enough of licking Arab boots

Slave

Illustration: A Jewish peace activist doing what he does best

Yonatan Bar-Submission, an Israeli ‘Peace Now’ activist, just can’t seem to have enough of the taste of delicious boots worn by Muslim and Arab parties.

The eager peace lover was seen recently in a major protest against various Israeli activities (such as breathing air that Arabs say belong to them, or existing within fifty miles of a mosque), when he is kneeling all the way down to the floor, and ravenously licking the footwear of Islamic fundamentalists, begging to be forgiven for his terrible crimes, and also to be whipped for being a ‘naughty bad boy’.

“We just came here to kill Jews”, says Ahmed bin Mahmoud, an Arab peace activist, while throwing fist-sized rocks at nearby Israeli schoolkids, “and this worm just insists on kissing my sandals, or asking me to kick him in the stomach and call him a ‘worthless slave’. I don’t know about you, but such things make me feel very uneasy.”

Salam Salem Saleikum, a Hamas Imam and recreational suicide bomber, offered an educated explanation for the curious phenomena:
“Countless centuries of constant abuse have created a distorted, warped sort of Jew, who – much like a kidnap victim who identifies with his kidnappers – shows absolute loyalty to whatever party wants to kill his own people. In their case, the incessant, limitless groveling, with false pretenses of enlightenment, is nothing more than a survival tactic. Basically these shameless traitors are so certain of their own people’s defeat, that they immediately ally themselves with any sort of enemy – no matter who he is or what he stands for.”

When asked about the subject, Abu-Slaughter, head of the western implanted Arab government in the ancient Israeli homeland of Judea, had the following to say:
“Personally, I find them quite amusing. It will also be a lot of fun to torture and murder them after we’re done killing all the Israelis who are still willing to put up a fight.”

With Israeli-Arab peace talks going into their next phase in Washington, true, everlasting peace in the middle east has never seemed so close.