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Posts Tagged ‘Terrorism’

Peace loving Jew can’t get enough of licking Arab boots

Slave

Illustration: A Jewish peace activist doing what he does best

Yonatan Bar-Submission, an Israeli ‘Peace Now’ activist, just can’t seem to have enough of the taste of delicious boots worn by Muslim and Arab parties.

The eager peace lover was seen recently in a major protest against various Israeli activities (such as breathing air that Arabs say belong to them, or existing within fifty miles of a mosque), when he is kneeling all the way down to the floor, and ravenously licking the footwear of Islamic fundamentalists, begging to be forgiven for his terrible crimes, and also to be whipped for being a ‘naughty bad boy’.

“We just came here to kill Jews”, says Ahmed bin Mahmoud, an Arab peace activist, while throwing fist-sized rocks at nearby Israeli schoolkids, “and this worm just insists on kissing my sandals, or asking me to kick him in the stomach and call him a ‘worthless slave’. I don’t know about you, but such things make me feel very uneasy.”

Salam Salem Saleikum, a Hamas Imam and recreational suicide bomber, offered an educated explanation for the curious phenomena:
“Countless centuries of constant abuse have created a distorted, warped sort of Jew, who – much like a kidnap victim who identifies with his kidnappers – shows absolute loyalty to whatever party wants to kill his own people. In their case, the incessant, limitless groveling, with false pretenses of enlightenment, is nothing more than a survival tactic. Basically these shameless traitors are so certain of their own people’s defeat, that they immediately ally themselves with any sort of enemy – no matter who he is or what he stands for.”

When asked about the subject, Abu-Slaughter, head of the western implanted Arab government in the ancient Israeli homeland of Judea, had the following to say:
“Personally, I find them quite amusing. It will also be a lot of fun to torture and murder them after we’re done killing all the Israelis who are still willing to put up a fight.”

With Israeli-Arab peace talks going into their next phase in Washington, true, everlasting peace in the middle east has never seemed so close.

Octoslam

22/09/2010 1 comment

Standing up for free speech and truth is a dangerous affair these days, so here’s my small contribution to the fight:

Mohammed octopus

The tentacles of peace

Categories: Pictures, Satire

American government commemorates 9/11 with Statue of Opression

Statue of Opression

The new Statue of Opression, celebrating the inevitable defeat of dhimmi Americans.

NYC, NY, September 11th, 2010 (ESN): Thousands of people, including Mayor Bloomberg, and other prominent members of city hall, were present at the unveiling ceremony of the new Statue of Liberty, which was built to better represent the cultural diversity of America, following the demands of moderate Islamic clergy members, such as Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, the Iron Sheik, and Osama Bin-Laden.

The face of the revised statue is covered with a 30-foot long burqa, its torch of freedom was replaced with an AK-47, and the tablet in its other hand was replaced with a Quran.

But despite a heart-felt speech by Mayor Bloomberg, who repeatedly said that “America is at war with terror, not Islam”, Imam Rauf insisted that the statue will not deter the Ummah from demanding more equality from narrow-minded American bigots.

“Some racists keep saying that we follow the concept of Taqiyya, which allows Muslims to deceive the Kuffar in order to achieve some sort of ‘evil’ goal, but that is entirely untrue – Islam is peace, the burqa is female liberation, and slavery is freedom.”

When asked about the next goals of the ‘obliteration of all infidels initiative’, the Imam smiled a coy, gentle smile, before sharing his thoughts with us:
“We are a simple people. All we want is to change ‘Independance day’ to ‘Public stoning day’, replace the American national anthem with ‘Mohammed my one true love’ – which can only be sung by six-year-old girls, and erect a giant black tower of understanding in the middle of Manhattan, to block out the sun, and bring a thousand years of darkness upon the kuffars.”

Mayor Bloomberg has already pledged to promote the aforementioned initiative, codenamed “project overlord”, and pay for it from his own tax-payer money.

Categories: ESN, Satire